I remember reading an article saying in a certain country, every one has an account recording the wealth of their citizen. and the new born's wealth was recorded as TIME before they have any money..indeed time is what we are given and we tend to waste it as thing given to us for free normally the most precious thing but we don't appreciate it. It happen to me too... i wasted 10 years without achieving anything great... I had a relationship which lasted for 7 years plus and break up because she found someone better at that time... or maybe it is just that i am never good enough. I set financial plan to get financial freedom but didn't follow it till the end because of emotional... scare of losing her... My work carrier seem good to most people but it is something that i don't enjoy and i might just loss it anytime.
To be honest... I feel lost... I had been searching for years... what do i really want for my life... money? love? good car? nice house? I am a greedy person who want everything but at the same time i am ok to let go everything... i am interested in everything at the beginning but soon after that i get bored and left it alone... what do i really want in my live... do i really want anything? do i really enjoy staying alive? i wander.. i tried killing myself before but i feel scare... it is a sign that i want to continue living right??? but till now i still dont know what i want... maybe ... just maybe... what i want is noting... na... it is not possible since i am so greedy... but i do know certain thing i want is nor possible... well maybe not possible in the world we are living now... so how do i create it? haha i like fantacy world... i really do... looking at people work hard to level up... having a clear direction what to do and been appreciated with reward... and the idea i had many many years before is to imagine the world i am living as a fantasy world. (you may refer to my first blog if it is still there..) so what will be my status if i still to that..
LV: 33 I guess but using age as LV does not sound right...
Job LV: Professional engineer?? haha if i draw out the job skill tree... i still have 2 level before i reach the highest job but should i go for it? it feel like after leaning sword skill years after years then only found out that i dont like close combat... should i continue become knight or change to be magician? haha...
Money: ya i do have a bit compare to others who having trouble to put food on the table but it is not like i don't have to worry about it...
Guild: joined too many and not performing well in any of it... especially with this virus moving around killing lots of people...
so what is the fun in this world which is currently know as earth? build a haram? not like the law allow it... become top in my job? (the amount of responsibility is killing me).. Build a simple family? ya that can be done but... what's next? give birth and start busy feeding next generation? In fantasy story it always happen that we meet people with different profession and we cover each other weakness and grow as a party... but what can i contribute in current party? the official guild i am in can't find job and now guild leader is considering to let go of member... the other guild which i help up are not doing well... really hard to trust others to do the thing they should and i am not contributing well too... Follow the other friend to be guild less? well it is possible but it also means i am on my own for everything that is going to happen... go out to hunt monster alone? it is never a wise choice...
I like freedom.. so not sticking with a fix party or guild may be good but in order to survive, i need to have multiple party that i can join temporary... i want to have a place i can return to after feeling tired of killing monster... so a home and wife is necessary... i dont like killing monster but for the time been.. i have to bare with it... If adventure can risk their life to earn money to put food on table... why am i not willing to do simple risk free job on this world call earth???
Because there is no fun? no excitement? or i am just living too comfortable... i dont know... i only know i dont enjoy close combat as sword man... so i need to learn how to cast magic... but reading all the spell book is killing me too... haha... well there is one profession that people say i am suitable.. that is be trainer.. but it is not like there will be people who want a noob to train them right?
but one thing for sure... in all adventure stories... the one success all put in great effort... the mister nice guys always get push around... so maybe is time for me to stop being mister nice guy... i spent too much time being nice and helping others... to the stage i don't enjoy doing the thing i want anymore... it is fun to learn about magic and it is fun to cast first fireball... but it is not fun that everyday people ask me to use fireball to help them start a fire... i need a path of my own... do i want to be magician??? do i want to be swordman? do i want to be all rounder? or what do i want to be??? i need to decide and stop getting push around... i need to be firm and get the thing i want out...
i have limited time...and i cant be helping all the guild or party that asking me to help... if i dont enjoy doing it... i should just stop... right???
i dont want to be the hero that everyone admire... i dont want to be chasing others who are super successful... i dont want to be push around to get job done... i just want to have simple success that i am happy about and work the thing at my own speed...
i know i can not do so many things at the same time so i should stop those non productive one... ya... since i will be stuck in this town because all the monster know as Covid are still out there... i will just focus on the following:
1) Continue practicing my sword skill in the morning... even though i dont like it... but no hard getting the royal knight title... it might help me get some sight income when i really quite as knight...
2) Practice my fire ball until when i am free... it is not a simple task but it can be useful to help me stay alive... but dont overstress myself on the result... important is practicing it as an interest.
3) Becoming a trainer or not.. will decide later since it involve going to other city to get license and i can't do anything with this Covid out there...
Lastly... setting aside time for fun or break in between all those task... controlling the duration is important but let's just set it during meal time and max 1 hour after meal time. have to stop myself after 1 hour...
As for building a home with a wife... first thing i need to do is say sorry to the potential wife... haha.. need to find something that we are both enjoy first ^_^
LV: 33 I guess but using age as LV does not sound right...
Job LV: Professional engineer?? haha if i draw out the job skill tree... i still have 2 level before i reach the highest job but should i go for it? it feel like after leaning sword skill years after years then only found out that i dont like close combat... should i continue become knight or change to be magician? haha...
Money: ya i do have a bit compare to others who having trouble to put food on the table but it is not like i don't have to worry about it...
Guild: joined too many and not performing well in any of it... especially with this virus moving around killing lots of people...
so what is the fun in this world which is currently know as earth? build a haram? not like the law allow it... become top in my job? (the amount of responsibility is killing me).. Build a simple family? ya that can be done but... what's next? give birth and start busy feeding next generation? In fantasy story it always happen that we meet people with different profession and we cover each other weakness and grow as a party... but what can i contribute in current party? the official guild i am in can't find job and now guild leader is considering to let go of member... the other guild which i help up are not doing well... really hard to trust others to do the thing they should and i am not contributing well too... Follow the other friend to be guild less? well it is possible but it also means i am on my own for everything that is going to happen... go out to hunt monster alone? it is never a wise choice...
I like freedom.. so not sticking with a fix party or guild may be good but in order to survive, i need to have multiple party that i can join temporary... i want to have a place i can return to after feeling tired of killing monster... so a home and wife is necessary... i dont like killing monster but for the time been.. i have to bare with it... If adventure can risk their life to earn money to put food on table... why am i not willing to do simple risk free job on this world call earth???
Because there is no fun? no excitement? or i am just living too comfortable... i dont know... i only know i dont enjoy close combat as sword man... so i need to learn how to cast magic... but reading all the spell book is killing me too... haha... well there is one profession that people say i am suitable.. that is be trainer.. but it is not like there will be people who want a noob to train them right?
but one thing for sure... in all adventure stories... the one success all put in great effort... the mister nice guys always get push around... so maybe is time for me to stop being mister nice guy... i spent too much time being nice and helping others... to the stage i don't enjoy doing the thing i want anymore... it is fun to learn about magic and it is fun to cast first fireball... but it is not fun that everyday people ask me to use fireball to help them start a fire... i need a path of my own... do i want to be magician??? do i want to be swordman? do i want to be all rounder? or what do i want to be??? i need to decide and stop getting push around... i need to be firm and get the thing i want out...
i have limited time...and i cant be helping all the guild or party that asking me to help... if i dont enjoy doing it... i should just stop... right???
i dont want to be the hero that everyone admire... i dont want to be chasing others who are super successful... i dont want to be push around to get job done... i just want to have simple success that i am happy about and work the thing at my own speed...
i know i can not do so many things at the same time so i should stop those non productive one... ya... since i will be stuck in this town because all the monster know as Covid are still out there... i will just focus on the following:
1) Continue practicing my sword skill in the morning... even though i dont like it... but no hard getting the royal knight title... it might help me get some sight income when i really quite as knight...
2) Practice my fire ball until when i am free... it is not a simple task but it can be useful to help me stay alive... but dont overstress myself on the result... important is practicing it as an interest.
3) Becoming a trainer or not.. will decide later since it involve going to other city to get license and i can't do anything with this Covid out there...
Lastly... setting aside time for fun or break in between all those task... controlling the duration is important but let's just set it during meal time and max 1 hour after meal time. have to stop myself after 1 hour...
As for building a home with a wife... first thing i need to do is say sorry to the potential wife... haha.. need to find something that we are both enjoy first ^_^
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